Sunday, February 19, 2012

The Many Mistresses of The Old Slow Guy

With Valentine's Day come and gone, I thought this would be an ideal time to start writing again, and let you know about all the "Action" I've been getting lately.  The events below are absolutely true, only the name have been changed (to make my life seem more exciting).  Don't be afraid to click the links...

Before I talk about the loves in my life, I want to say that it not uncommon for me to just cruise around Laramie, looking for something to get my heart rate up.  Rarely am I disappointed.  I have been know to be up for a little moonlight escapade as well.

One sweetheart of mine, let's call her Ms. C., is especially noteworthy.  A half hour with her, and I am completely soaking wet.  She always leaves me with that distinctive odor, making it shamelessly obvious what I have been up to.

I absolutely have to talk about my most frequent love.  Lets call her Jami for short.  The first thing most people notice about Jami is her good looks.  And let me tell you, she is built for speed.  She gets me there quick; I rarely need more than ten minutes with her!  With her petite frame, some people think she is a bit of a princess.  But the people in my 'Cross circles, know how tough she is.  Never afraid to get down and dirty, she likes it rough.  And often, we use the studded rubber.

Jami and the studded rubber.

Another interest of mine lately is Ms. Hill.  You could call her my Tuesday night regular.  Mostly, Ms. Hill is just a bitch.  And although convenient, she is never easy.  She always puts me through the wringer.  After about 30 minutes, I am hurting and breathless.  But we all know I can't stay away and will be back the next week for more punishment.

But the one that's most Special(ized), is Stumpy.  As you can imagine, she is not built like Jami.  The first thing you notice about her is her fat front end.  And how wide she is.  Sometimes she can barely fit between two trees.  And she has some large love-handles on her too.  Some of my friends have suggested to me that she should shed a little weight.  But I love her the way she is.  She can bend, flex and adjust in ALL the right places, if you know what I mean.
Like I said, fat!  2.34 inches to be exact.
And the giant Love Handles.

Lately, we haven't seen much of each other.  But I had to take a trip to Utah, this last weekend, and I thought I would treat her to something special.  So, I gingerly carried her down the stairs, clamped her arms to the bed of my truck and locked her in with a steel cable.  Two days later, when I let her out, "Surprise!"  We were in Vernal!

One of the many cultural sites in Vernal.

Once at the trail head, I realized that I had forgotten my helmet, so I had to run back to town and pick up a replacement.  'Cause when you roll like I do, you never go without protection.  The anticipation was building.  When we were back at the corrals, I wasted no time slapping some lube on her.  And then we went at it like it was the first time for both of us.

A quick five mile warm-up around upper Retail Sale has some great give and take.  Then, were ready for Jackalope.  I took the lead here, pumping her at different paces.  Sometimes fast and light, other times slow and hard.  When I was out of breath and thought I couldn't hold out any longer, we finally climaxed together, high above the valley!

A very graphic representation of the Climax.

With my energy spent, I climbed off her.  I enjoyed a Martguerita (flavored Shot-Blok) and took in the scenery.  I drank some water, and of course, posted my exploits to Facebook.  But soon, she was ready to go again.  My legs were still feeling weak, but I complied.

I mounted her again.  But this time she took the lead, doing most of the work.  She started slow, but began to pick up speed.  All I really had to do was adjust my hips to guide her.  Faster and faster we went.  The world went rushing by.  It was pure ecstasy!  I lost track of time, but I know it didn't take long for me to get off (the hill).  We even ran out the batteries in our little "toy."

After this rush, I regained my stamina, and we continued our little romp, until we finally just had to go home.  It was a beautiful day, and it made me appreciate her so much!  I can't wait until we can do it again!